Screw politics. There has always been  a bigger war in the background. The casualties number to the million and it does’t look like it’s going to slow down. Hence, my guide to surviving… YOUR WOMAN.

Ok, you got the chick, she’s great but you have to learn to keep her happy. Here are some typical issues that crop up. p.s. I’ll be doing this occasionally so don’t expect a bloody list now!

Shoes -  A woman can never have enough. Never. Don’t try to argue. Just don’t. You can’t stop her buying shoes. You can however, regulate the frequency that she buys. You can utilize the guilt scenario, or the opportunity cost scenario. For example.

“Sweetie, do you think I should get this pair of patent black heeled peep toe Aldo shoes?”

Safe yet effective responses are

“Umm, didn’t you like just buy a pair two days ago?”

“If you get these, what about the handbag that you’re saving for?”

“Hmm, not sure, how about the other color * (ensure that color stated is out of stock or not available)?”

“How’s that credit card debt coming along?”

There ya go. The last one in super risky as it might keep you dry for a week. But, it keeps the shoe buying habit to a minimal for at least 1.5 weeks. So it’s pretty much up to you.

Nic… out.

Okay, I’m just gonna append my brief review on this movie below Nic’s post after having watched it..

I honestly believe BC = Big pile of Crap.

This was truly a disappointment – a cringe fest, and a lousy overblown Hollywood failure.

Here’s why :

- Utterly unrealistic plot and full of holes so big, I’m surprised the producers even greenlighted this project. This is truly the biggest insult to a cinemagoer’s intelligence.
- Hollywood’s attempt at rewriting history and not even trying to be subtle about it. Obvious American propaganda again – whites become brothers with the blacks and overthrow middle eastern tyrants. Woopeedoodee.
- The terrible cliche ridden script (please kill me here pretty please).
- Lousiest action scenes ever – such a primal premise – yet here’s a movie with hardly any blood. It’s already unreal enough as it is, the lack of violence just made it even more unbelievable to me.
- Lame special effects. According to IMDB trivia, these people cut cost because the special effects ‘took too long to render’ – what sadcase excuse! One particular scene was so bad, I actually remembered similar effects back from the 80′s that were better..
- Complete lack of characterization, emotion & drama. Bad acting turned this movie into a long winded trip to nowhere.
- Storyline and screenplay was completely unoriginal and obviously stolen from the following 3 movies – Pathfinder, Apocalypto, 300 – all of which were much superior to this.

I could go on and on and on (if I didn’t mind spoiling the movie).

But this is definitely not worthy of a cinema viewing. Go buy a ciplak copy later.

Fooie is kinda busy… I’m going to go watch this. Anyone wanna come?

I know! SO FOO right? Too bad they don’t make it…

Laputa: Castle in the Sky (Tenku no shiro Rapyuta) 1986

Air pirates, military, secret agents, young heroes and kooky sidekicks are the norm for this flick. Set in a era where WWI – WWII infrastructures are the general building blocks, it tells of the hidden origins of a little girl with a very powerful gem in a necklace. She’s pursued by pirates, military and agents alike and is helped by a young boy from a mining town. Pretty soon they find that their destiny lies in the legendary floating castle; Laputa, which happens to be more that it is.

One thing though that I’ve discovered watching anime, is that you can’t think of it as anime but rather a full length film. Then you’ll pay attention and understand the twists and turns and plots fully. I blame the cartoon network on pavloving us into 15 mins short toons with a bunch of ads in the middle.

Laputa starts off moderately slow, setting the scene for the little girl and boy. Pretty soon their paths intertwine and then the adventure kicks off. Air travel is shown here as the major focus of warfare and is very mechanized. There is comedy here as well as some weird pedophile moments that Japanese animes have. (Search for Kiki’s Delivery Service). However the flow of the plot is solid and normal. I would recommend this if you’ve got time to burn.

Princess Mononoke (Mon0noke Hime) 1997

Ever watched Naruto? How one fight scene stretches across two full episodes? I reckon Naruto took the evolution of the slow rate of pace from Princess Monon0ke. But, it’s valid for this particular film. Parts of slow, scene setting sequences are broken up by furious, violent, gory action. Well, gory for 1997 that is. Princess Mononoke actually centers around the attempts of a young prince in understanding his destiny in a world where gods and human live on equal grounds. Gods take the physical forms of animals and humans are featured in a setting of feudal Japan. Magic and technology are at contrasting odds.

The subtle implementation of human ambition and destruction of the environment is thrust upon us. Technology, survival, evolution and ambition as the core human traits is depicted in Princess Mononoke. The young prince however struggles to bring only peace to both sides. To me, this show depicts the seriousness of actions and decisions. Unlike some 1/2 hour comedy on HBO, there is no do over. Repeat after me… there is NO do over. Unlike a sitcom where everything gets fixed and hunky dory as well as a lesson of morality learned at the end of the 1/2 hour, Princess Mononoke depicts the profound repercussions of decisions made. Nothing is taken lightly here. This is a breath of fresh air, knowing that once you’ve decided you’re committed. These are the day that you mean what you say and you say what you mean.

The animation is superb for a ’97. The flow and fluidity of the background and foreground is excellent. The peripheral animation does not look imprinted but rather drawn with love and focus. I shan’t say much of the plot, for ever subtle aspect of the film affects the plot in the end. So, if you’ve got some time to burn, watch this.. if you don’t have time to burn, make time and watch this.

THE KODAMA IS WATCHING YOU!

I think I’m done for now. Next up… Porco Rosso!

I’ll hit you up later for a more explicit post. For now, make do with the 1 of the 2 sms’ that Foo sent me.

“Had a walk to Darling Harbour today..Checked out Wildlife Park.. Karaoked, Korean bbq for dinner..Walking to Cicular Quay now, Star City Casino later”

Now, to me what peeked out was the notion of Korean BBQ. Yeah I know, you can get the usual stuff in Ampang or any Korea House  here in KL but once you cross international boundaries, food seems to become authentic. Actual Bugolgi tastes better as beef overseas are not malnourished as ours. For instance, I had Japanese and Korean BBQ, Lebanese, Middle Eastern, Italian, Thai, Indian, Vietnamese and god knows what else over there in Australia and they tasted 100% authentic. BUT, I have yet to find any Malaysian food overseas that can take on our boys right here.

On the flip side, I wonder if Foo knows that Quay is pronounced KEY and not KUAY. eh..I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Furthermore, Sup Buntut is Indonesian for Ox Tail Soup, and it tastes like the bomb!

Well whoop de doo! All I got from that sms was GIRLS. girls, girls, girls. I reckon the water is somewhat different over there.  And  as most most of you might know, coming out of the airport into customs is a blur after 8 hours of flight. I always thought that notion of the immigration officers asking you questions to verify that you’re not a terrorist is quite absurd for flights over 5 hours in a bloody MAS plane. MATE! I spent 8 hours in a tiny seat to get here and you’re asking if I have a fruits or vegetables to declare? I’d be so tired you can ask me anything and I won’t be able to lie.

I always thought that f*cking with them would be fun, pre 9/11 of course.

“So sir, are you here for business of pleasure?”

“A little from column A and a little from column B!”

“Huh? Sir? Business or pleasure?”

“Depends, this a democracy or do I have to quote my Marx and Lenin?”

“Right sir, could you just hold for a moment?” *presses silent alarm

Something like that I guess.

Allow me to introduce myself. Before Fooie slaps an ode to farewell his loyal readers, let me welcome you to my house! For the next week and a half anyways. As you know, our man is headed of to the south shores of oceana. Of all places he’s headed to Sydney (I’m more a Melbourne guy) and to the temperamental weather of Australia.

He entrusted me to guest blog and we actually have a system to go here. Being a resident of Australia for 4 1/2 years and well traveled in that region*, Fooie will be sending me an sms a day, no more than 20 words and utilizing my worldly knowledge and intelligent sense of perception, I will try to post up what I reckon he is up to. For instance, “Beach gorgeous, market is great, love chocolate“, to me would mean he probably went to Bondi, had seafood by the pier and Max Brenner for dessert. See? Simple.

Well, I’m off for now. A quick introduction was all I needed and I’ll see you boys and girls again when our mate is stuck on the 8 hour flight with crappy movies. With Foo being a moviephile, I reckon he’s seen it all and will probably spend his time on the flight playing Super Mario Bros…..man I love that game.

Btw, this saved my life in Australia.

Ah, thou art Boston Umbrella

* having sampled wines, beer and whisky over the region.