Finally! The last installment of my James Bond movie project, with the last 5 Bond films before Daniel Craig’s Casino Royale. Managed to finish it just before 2009.. what a great way to end 2008.

Truthfully, writing these posts have been quite time consuming. Running through each DVD to screen capture the characters, thinking of corny captions for the images, and writing them was a bit of a pain in the ass – but I couldn’t exactly stop once I’ve started.. Anyway, if any of the Bond posts made you smile or cringe (to their lameness), then my job is done. Hope you enjoyed them!

Licence To Kill (1989)

• Final movie to star Timothy Dalton as James Bond. Was also the poorest performing Bond movie in the US – although I thought the whole movie was pretty good.
• Some memorable scenes here.. a cool intro where they capture the villain by lassoing the tailend of a plane with a helicopter, and then parachuting into a wedding ceremony. The finale was cool too, with Bond singlehandedly causing the destruction of 2 drug laden oil tankers in a high speed chase scene (lots of explosions!)

Villain – Franz Sanchez

• Drug lord with plans to smuggle tonnes of cocaine to Asia after having discovered a method to dissolve them in gasoline.
• Ruthless. He caused a defection from within the CIA, and brutally murders Felix Leiter’s wife, as well as almost killing Leiter with a shark.. Goes up in flames when Bond puts his gas-coke soaked clothes on fire..

Villain – Dario

• ONE of Sanchez’s many henchmen. I’m only including him here because he’s a super young super skinny Benicio del Toro!!
• Totally didn’t expect to see him.. I love this dude’s acting roles – he always looks damn bad ass. Poor guy has a very bloody demise by falling into a grinder…

Bond Girl – Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto)

• This latino girl is HAWTTT. Although she’s the main villain’s abused girlfriend, she doesn’t quite qualify as a henchmen cause she helps Bond even from the very beginning.
• Did I mention she was hawt? She carries herself with a lot of pride and stature in this movie, and those eyes.. those legs.. *sweat* Hotness Level 4/5.

Bond Girl – Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell)

• A CIA informant who helps Bond track Sanchez down. An ex-army pilot, and definitely not a bimbo.
• I have to say she was pretty sexy here, especially with the famous 1980’s super short tomboy bob cut. Hotness Level 3/5.

Goldeneye (1995)

• Pierce Brosnan’s first James Bond movie. It took them 6 years to film this due to legal publishing disputes.
• I thought it was pretty good! Not as campy as the older Bond’s and definitely one of the better ones. It was also the beginning of Brosnan’s ‘high tech’ Bond films which will progressively get more outrageous…
• A traitorous MI6 agent and a Russian general with a plan to destroy Britain’s economy by withdrawing money from the Bank of England, and then decimating all electronics in that country with a satellite launched EMP attack (aka Goldeneye).
• Ultimate chase scene, with Bond driving a Tiger tank through St. Petersburg, crumpling cars and causing maximum destruction, while mowing a villain down..

Villain – Alec Trevelyan

• Sean Bean, another accomplished actor.. Plays Bond’s close friend and fellow double O agent who was presumed killed in action, but instead turns out he faked his own death and went rogue.
• Dies by falling off a huge antenna dish (used to communicate with Goldeneye), and then having the dish collapse on him.

Villain / Bond Girl – Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen)

• Downright THE most psychotic Bond Girl ever! This girl is CRAZY – she’s carnivorous, dominatrix and loves to seduce and to kill. The scene where she claws on one of her lovers chest, her insane grin, her squeals.. breathtaking..
• And her trademark killing maneuver? Crushing and suffocating her lovers with her legs. Really makes me wonder what it’d be like with her in bed.. haha.. Hotness Level 3.5/5

Bond Girl – Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco)

• The sole survivor during an attack to steal the Goldeneye operating mechanism. She’s just an ordinary girl (a programmer) who ends up as a witness and gets caught up in the entire conspiracy.
• Nothing extraordinary. She’s nice. Hotness Level 2/5.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)

• This movie made lots of Malaysians proud thanks to ‘Datuk Michelle Yeoh’s role in it – just cause she was born in Malaysia..
• It’s got one cool opening sequence with two Migs fighter jets duking it out, but the movie’s later action scenes doesn’t quite live up to its intro. You will however get to see a battleship sunk with a drill-head torpedo, Bond doing a HALO jump, a remote controlled BMW car chase and the movie’s highlight – Bond and a handcuffed Wai Lin escaping on a motorcycle.

Villain – Elliot Carver

• An insane billionaire media mogul who owns a massive stealth ship, which he uses to steal a nuclear warhead. Manipulates the military GPS to trick a British ship into Chinese waters and then sinking the ship to escalate political tension.
• His master plan? To monopolize the world’s media by starting a World War (thus creating his own news), and be the only network to supply the information..

Bond Girl – Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher)

• Used to be in a relationship with Bond before getting married to the villain. She will end up getting seduced by Bond a second time and reveal info about her husband to him.
• She dies after her husband discovers her betrayal. Poor girl. Well, I never really found Teri Hatcher particularly attractive. Hotness Level 1.5/5

Bond Girl – Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh)

• A Chinese secret agent with her own bag of gadgets and tricks. Initially pursues her own agenda, but teams up with Bond to get the job done.
• Considered by many to be the only Bond Girl that is Bond’s equal in terms of skill and independence.
• Hotness Level 1/5. Sorry for the low score Michelle Yeoh fans. I don’t know why but somehow or rather, I wouldn’t exactly ‘do’ her…

The World Is Not Enough (1999)

• I remembered actually enjoying this when I watched it about a decade ago.. It wasn’t particularly outstanding or memorable, just decent entertainment.
• Features a really long pre-title sequence in the form of an intense high tech boat chase. You’ll also get to see a more Bond ski-ing action scenes, with him single-handedly wiping out a squad of paragliding snowmobiles unarmed, defusing a nuclear bomb while traveling inside of an oil pipeline, going against a helicopter with large hanging saws, and hijacking a submarine.

Villain – Renard

• Poor guy has a bullet lodged in his brain that is slowly migrating towards the center of his head. Will eventually die, but for some wonderful movie plot reasoning – the bullet’s path is dulling his senses making him immune to pain.
• Proves that you do not exactly need a bullet in your head to do stupid stuff like sacrifice yourself for the sake of drop dead hot vixen who falls in love with you.

Villain / Bond Girl – Elektra King (Sophie Marceau)

• A rich heiress who masterminded the death of her own father. Plans to monopolize oil trade by building a pipeline to the West, and then destroying the remaining 4 Russian oil pipelines with a nuclear detonation..
• This girl is smoking! Elegant and graceful, Sophie Marceau is without a doubt one of the most breathtaking bond girls. Doesn’t matter that she’s got a bit of a flat chest here, or that the scene with her torn earlobe was a little hard to watch, or that she is super ruthless and even kinky as hell in a particular torture scene. Her imperfections contribute to her attractiveness.
• Do keep an eye out for a nipple slip when she’s making out with Bond.. Hotness Level 4/5.

Bond Girl – Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards)

• God awful acting here, and totally unbelievable as a nuclear scientist. She sounded like a little girl throughout, and looks more like a blonde bimbo than anything.
• She’s got some almighty assets though.. haha. Hotness Level 3/5.

Die Another Day (2002)

• The worst Bond film in my opinion. Filled to the brim with non stop corny one-liners. Insults everybody’s intelligence with the most absurd plot ever. Overusage of CGI.. Has the most ridiculous non-plausible technology at the time – an INVISIBLE car anyone? Urgh.
• This one movie completely turned me off the entire Bond series. Thankfully it was the last of its kind.

Villain – Colonel Moon / Gustav Graves

• Probably giving it away here, but they are one and the same. A North Korean colonel, presumed killed by Bond in the pre-title sequence, he returns as a super rich dude after having considerable cosmetic surgery and gene therapy done to himself.
• Launches a huge satellite that is capable of reflecting sunshine and providing light to any part of the world. A front to secretly hide a diamond powered magnifying ‘glass’ that can focus the above mentioned sunlight into a deadly energy beam. Intends to use it to reconquer South Korea.
• First death – falling off a waterfall. Final and real death – getting sucked into a jumbo jet’s propeller engine.

Villain – Zao

• Do the screenplay writers think we aren’t smart enough to ask if those diamonds can’t be removed from this dude’s face? STUPID!
• Colonel Moon’s loyal aide. Dies by getting impaled with a huge ice chandelier.

Villain / Bond Girl – Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike)

• A MI6 agent supposedly working undercover to find out more about Gustav Graves rise to power. In reality, she’s a turned agent and is working for Graves instead.
• Dies by getting stabbed in the chest (through a passport?) in a sword fight scene with Jinx near the end of the movie.
• Carries herself with considerable stature, and a dash of unapproachable coldness. Just makes you want to break through her icy layer.. Hotness Level 3.5/5

Bond Girl – Jinx (Halle Berry)

• Plays a secret NSA agent who’s out to assassinate all those responsible for supporting gene therapy. Apparently gene therapy involves harvesting healthy genes from poor unfortunate people.. Apparently NSA find this appalling, and so must kill other people instead. Stupid stupid stupid!
• Awful! I don’t know what’s so sexy about her seriously. Hmm. Or maybe its just me. Hotness Level 2/5.