Warning : Long review post ahead..

I have not seen a horror movie in so long, I guess I just had to flood my system with 8 of them in 5 days. English ones mind you – I’ll move on to Asian horror at a later date. Most of the following movies left me with an uncomfortable dark feeling in my gut, but the comedic elements in the last few probably helped save a bit of my humanity (if there was any left to begin with)…

Rise (2007)

I went in knowing already that its going to be a disappointment, so I had a bit of fun cringing at the awfully bad script and acting. Here are a few reasons one would want to / or not want to watch it. Decide for yourself.

• A whimpering crying heroine.
• Weapon of choice : a small plastic toyish looking crossbow that shoots chopsticks.
• Vampires with no fangs and no supernatural abilities whatsoever.
• Lucy Liu’s titties.
• Super campy and cheesy lines.
• A Bruce Willis wannabe.
• Blood that is so watery, it looks like wine.
• Lucy Liu’s titties.

Unrest (2007)

This is one spooky movie.. but only in the 1st half though. It doesn’t use cheap sudden loud shocks to scare you. Rather, the ambiance and atmosphere kept me squirming in my seat. The 2nd half however got pretty awful due to the massive inconsistencies, glaring plot holes and unbelievable situations. Critics beware, the weak plot & bad lines, will probably ruin it for you. Otherwise, for a little brainless fright (the sort where you worry about what MIGHT happen instead of what ACTUALLY happens), this will do just fine.

28 Weeks Later (2007)

Fantastic sequel to 28 Days Later. Not your typical zombie flick, these undead don’t stagger in slow-mo towards you – they RUN. And just a drop of their blood will infect you and turn you into a raging zombie within seconds. It’s apocalyptic, it’s bleak, horrifying and very terrifying. Amp it up with some big budget special effects, military warfare and there you have it, a Hollywood-ed version of a British cult hit – not that it’s in anyway bad mind you.

Hannibal Rising (2007)

The initial catalyst of events that led to the creation of one of fictional history’s most feared villains – Hannibal Lecter. This movie will initially make you feel sympathetic to his cause, and slowly take you down the path of depravity, vengeance – and eventually leave you disgusted and condemning his choice of path. Revenge may be a dish best served cold (and this is as cold as it gets) – but heck Gong Li is smokin’ HOT in this one. Yin & Yang man. Final Verdict : most definitely not as good as Red Dragon or Silence of the Lambs – maybe a little on par with Hannibal. Didn’t quite like how this movie converted Mr. Lecter from an almost supernatural, mysteriously terrifying entity (from his previous movies) to just an insane vengeful murderer though.

The Shining (1980)

Rated #3 on IMDB’s Top Horror movies of all time, I just had to give this a go (since I don’t remember anything about it). Stanley Kubrick’s amazing camera work amplifies the eerily silent, lonely, hallways + the suspense that lurks just around every corner at the Overlook Hotel. Jack Nicholson also does a great job of acting out his decadent spiral into insanity. And of course, the crazy ass background score! It all works together to provide the terrifying feeling of having your mad father/husband chase you down with an axe. If there was one thing I didn’t like about it though, was the slow moving demented conversations, and the completely unexplained ‘blood from elevator + woman in bathtub’ scenes. Well, if this was released now, I’m sure it probably won’t score half as high, but it’s obvious how this movie could have freaked out just about ANYONE back in the early 80’s. Nowadays, we just don’t scare as easily.

Grindhouse : Planet Terror (2007)

Woohoo! B Grade zombie slaughterfest from Robert Rodriguez (From Dusk Till Dawn, Sin City)! This is a complete utter mad house of a film. The moment Naveen Andrews (from Lost) walks on the screen, cuts off a guy’s testicles and gently steps on one of the removed balls – you KNOW you are in for one heckuva ride. It’s all soo over the top that it easily suspends belief. You’ll want to laugh and cheer at everything that happens (which is the way anyone should approach this movie). Purposely done up to look like an old exploitation film with scratches, film discoloration and even a missing reel portion to pay homage to the grindhouse movies of the 70’s (it even has a fake movie trailer). Blood, pus, gore, plenty of non stop action, a sexy lead actress with a commando rifle as her leg, all guns a blazing.. ahh.. chaos incarnate.

Grindhouse : Death Proof (2007)

The 2nd installment of the Grindhouse series. Same as before, B grade filming style galore. Ex-stuntman drives a ‘deathproof’ car that he uses to terrorize and murderize various young ladies. Oozing with trademark Tarantino style – extremely long winded conversations (some of which might stick with you for awhile). Doesn’t have as much gratuitous fun as Planet Terror in the gore and violence department – but the few moments when it does indulge in it – was simply WOW. Crazy ass car chase scene near the end, and left me with an amused grin plastered on my face throughout..

Black Sheep (2006)

A limited release movie from New Zealand – only showed in cinemas here about 2 months back. Black Sheep is hilarious! It’s outlandish and filled with tonnes of original parodies about other zombie flicks. The special effects (by WETA studios) and gore was above satisfying. And man.. the jokes (mint sauce burns human-sheep zombie, zoophilia, etc). Very worthwhile for some mindless entertainment hehe..